The Void and Neztra

I am playing catch up. Can you tell? Watch, after this post, there will be no new ones for another month. Hopefully though, I'll have something interesting to tell you in a couple of days.

So, I bought an elliptical machine. Yes, that's right,

I...voluntarily...bought....a.....torture....device.

Why you ask? Well, anyone who knows me personally would never, ever ask that question. One glance at my rapidly expanding ass (sort of like how the universe is constantly expanding...only my ass is expanding on a more exponential level than even the great universe) is enough said.

I'm 30! I have got to get myself in shape. Now is the time in a person's life when the doctor starts to say things like "cholesterol too high" and "blood pressure to high" and "bottom not high enough". Or maybe my best friends are saying that last one. Anyway, I value their opinion as much as a doctor, so, it is worth stating.

So, I buy this elliptical machine. Nordic Trac, $750. Yes, I paid out my huge bum for this thing. So I had better use it I suppose.

The first night, I put it together with the help of my father. Or maybe he put it together with my help. Eh, he's not writing this blog, so I'll state it my way. See the first sentence in this paragraph. Anyway, they should have said in the instructions, "Putting this big beast together is equal to your first work out in the amount of muscle pain and stubbed toes it will cause you to experience."

The next morning, I awoke to watch the sun rise, glinting off the cold black steel frame and I had to repress a terrified shudder. Oh no! Now I had to actually use it. This sucks.

And it did. It sucked for a whole ten minutes. No really, that's about all I could do the first day. I'll just wait while you finish with your hyena-like laughs, and are able to gasp in some actual usable air again. OK, you done?

Yes, ten whole minutes. I dismounted from the Sadistic Stallion of Shame on wobbly knees and ankles and huffed my way into the kitchen for a nice, cold glass of Riesling. Uh huh, seriously.

The next day was better. I lasted fifteen minutes!

The day after that, I gave my screeching calves and bum a rest.

The next day, I rode the Smug Steed for fifteen minutes at level 5 resistance. Woohoo! I'm doing better!

Today, I was able to get through fifteen real minutes of working out without feeling like I was going to have a coronary right there on the machine. Oh happy day.

Maybe next week I will have worked my way up to a truly staggering twenty minutes.

On another note, I have more good news. I know! Can you stand it? I am really on cloud nine right now.

I finally, after two months of job hunting all over the greater Dallas area, was hired by an excellent company right here in Duncanville.

There must be something I am missing. The people are incredibly nice, down-to-earth and fun to be around. The work is interesting and challenging, in a good way. The salary is great, and my commute to work is exactly 1.52 miles. On back roads no less!

I really think sometimes God just takes a spiritual brick and smacks a big 'ol cosmic crater into the center of your forehead to make you stand up and pay attention to Him guiding our lives. I knew, from the moment I left that office on the day of my interview, that it was the perfect job for me.

It took two weeks for them to call me back. I was on pins and needles, and a neurotic mess. After they called to tell me that they wanted to hire me, I was elated and all that worrying just slipped away. I wish I had the faith then to give my worrying up to Him. I'm just woefully flawed. I know I say that all the time, but honestly, it is the truth. I am an incredibly flawed human being, but apparently, still worth looking after, which is a bit of a relief.

Reading back over my last post, it is hard to believe I was ever in such a sorry emotional state. Life has truly taken a turn for the better.

My mother's situation is by far the best blessing my family and I have experienced this month. The tests they ran on the lump that they removed from her breast a month ago were all best case scenario for her. They got all of the malignancy and she will not have to have chemotherapy. She will have to do seven weeks of radiation therapy and will be on hormone inhibitors for a very long time to ensure that the cancer does not come back. But that's OK. Taking a few pills every day is nothing compared to what millions of cancer patients face each day.

I have a new-found appreciation for the plight of people suffering from terminal illness, specifically cancers. I've especially cleared out a space in my heart for their loved ones who have to face the certainty that their heart will been torn in two in due time when their friend, wife, lover, mother, father, brother or sister passes from this world. It is my fervent hope that I will be able to help these people in some small way. I'm not sure how yet, but when the idea hits me, I'll know it.

As for mom, I think she has a new lease on life and she realizes that she is a much stronger person than she ever thought she was. I am truly proud of her quiet strength and faith in God throughout this entire ordeal. Mom has always been my hero, but now, she's legend.